More Joy of Writing Sex

Here is more from The Joy of Writing Sex by Elizabeth Benedict, and whatever else comes to mind.

  • Narrate from with the characters’ bodies and minds and connect them with their physical surroundings.  A buttock in warm sand (or cold), the bite of a mosquito – something or anything that contributes to the mood you want to create.
  • They may not speak, but they might.  Dialogue can reveal your characters, create conflict, resolve conflict, reveal attitudes toward sex.  Perhaps a little humor?  Talk leading up to sex can be more fun and interesting than the sex, itself.
  • Be specific and add a little detail, but not necessarily explicit.  Use details that reveal emotion or distinguish one character from another, time, place, status.
  • Surprise!  Something about the scene the reader remembers, which is not necessarily a great orgasm.  What happened that was unexpected?

In writing about sex, remember the realities of the world in which you are writing.  Today we must consider AIDS, how the characters feel about it, safe sex – are they reckless, restrained, what controls their decisions?  There is a great deal of exploration to be done here when writing about the gay community, in particular.  As the author states, “Gay characters, and the primarily gay writers who create them, live in an environment in many ways defined by the ravages and repercussions of AIDS.  Illness and death have an inescapable immediacy and weight for the infected and uninfected alike; fictional characters, like their real-life counterparts, often exist in extremis, forced at every turn to explore the fusion of love, sex, mortality, and grief.”

Because of AIDS, the year and location in which you set your characters is crucial and will vary between gay and straight couples.

  • In our current time, most gays take practicing safe sex for granted.
  • You can use the preparation for safe sex between straight couples for further revelations about your characters.  Embarrassment about the condom?  Use it.

Here are titles of following chapters:  “Losing Your Cherry and Other First times to Remember; Great Expectations: The Wedding Night and the Honeymoon; Life Sentences: Husbands and Wives; Three Cheers for Adultery; Your Place or Mine: Recreational Sex; The Illicit: Sex Forbidden by Law, History, and Politics; Solo Sex: Alone, on the Phone, and on the Internet.”

You get the picture.

We love to talk about it, don’t we?  Now write and have fun.  This can be the most fun writing of all.  Truly.

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