Life In These United States

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Van at Slab City, California desert

Van at Slab City, California desert

If you live in the United States, you are familiar with those horrid drug commercials on TV.  Yesterday, there were three in a row for three different drugs. It’s not bad enough the pharmaceutical companies screw us financially, now they make us listen to them yant while waiting for our programs.  I record most of my programs these days, so I can skip through the commercials, but my husband still has to watch his football games live.

I did get a laugh out of it all though, when we received a “thermarest-type” pad in the mail from Overstock.com.  You know how the drug companies are required to chant (as fast as possible) their warnings at the end of the commercial?  This came with the pad.  You have to get through to the end:

WARNING!

“This product is or contains urethane foam.  Urethane foam is flammable!  Urethane foam will burn if exposed to open flame or other sufficient heat source.  Do not expose urethane foam to open flame or other sufficient heat source.  Do not expose urethane foam to open flames or any other direct or indirect high temperature ignition sources, such as smoldering cigarettes, space heaters, naked lights, burning operations, welding or other heat sources.  These can cause urethane foam to ignite.
Once ignited, urethane foam will burn rapidly, release great heat and consume oxygen at a high rate.  The lack of oxygen may cause death or serious personal injury by suffocation.
Burning urethane foam will also emit hazardous gases.  These hazardous gases can cause death or serious personal injury.
Once ignited, urethane foam is difficult to extinguish.  Foam fires that appear to be extinguished may smolder and reignite.  Always have fire officials determine whether a fire has been extinguished.
We wish you many comfortable nights sleep.

Whoever wrote that one, could never write decent fiction.  Or could he?
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